Roadrunner: A Film About Anthony Bourdain

First let me make something clear as the author of this review. I suffer and have endured Post Traumatic Stress Disorder, (PTSD). With that comes bouts of depression. As of the review of this movie and the writing of this piece, I need to make clear, I have gone through a time of triggers and some depression. For this reason, it is not only difficult to write this review, but I am looking through blinders at this movie as I admit, I admired the literary genius of Anthony Bourdain. Then as many will know who has seen the trailers from the movie, in Anthony Bourdain’s own words we know, this story does not have a happy ending.

 

Roadrunner is directed masterfully by award winning director and producer Morgan Neville. As would be expected from such a talented director, he weaves actual footage of Bourdain in the telling of this story that while we know the outcome in the final moments of the film, we see essentially Bourdain telling of his own demise. Of course, there is some brilliant editing in the process but as we look at this film on screen, we wonder, why would there have ever been any doubt as to the severity of Bourdain’s depression and ultimate demise via suicide by hanging. What we see on screen, while we hope for positive vibes, knowing the ending and end of Bourdain is a troubling, yet necessary viewing to better understand not just those fighting depression but, in many ways, humanity. It is from that perspective of observation and being able to relate that this review will be different than most any review I have ever written out of thousands of reviews over the years. Of course, there is the controversial technique used by Neville in the direction to use an AI (artificial intelligence) voice of Bourdain to help tell the story. While controversial, I personally found the technique quite appropriate as it assists in putting us into the place where it is clear in many ways and from other audio of where Bourdain’s mindset was at.

 

Anthony Bourdain got started out moving from a dishwasher up to becoming a chef, and through his own admission, not a great one. He enjoyed writing and as a writer, early on in his career and his first marriage it was clearly noted for his way with words. It wasn’t long after some interviews and interactions it was realized he would make a great addition to television. While early on some of his exploits and programs was more about food, it soon became much more than about food, it became about story, 

 

As Bourdain became more involved with the television programs his first marriage of many years dissolved and it became clear that he would be easily moved as to the needs of those around him, including world scenarios with political overtones. It wouldn’t be long before Bourdain would marry again and with his second marriage have a daughter. Unfortunately, after some time that marriage where he seemed so happy dissolved.  It seemed as if Bourdain was getting to a place where he would begin to develop ultimately self-worth issues and feelings of not being loveable. This becomes an issue with many with depression, it is unfortunately, even a feeling I often feel. Despite doing what one can for others, despite the drive to succeed, ultimately the desire to be loved is critical. We see the importance of this illustrated in several scenes through the movie.

 

We see several close friends of Bourdain throughout the documentary telling of their feelings and responses to Bourdain. It is clear in one scene where we see him interviewing Iggy Pop and the concept of Iggy Pop stating that the most important thing at his stage in life is to be loved by others. Clearly here we see Bourdain struggle as his life and mannerisms, I believe related to the desire to be loved and understood is challenged. He clearly has issues with this concept. We also see a conversation between Bourdain and a close friend, another chef where Bourdain says he is trying to be as Christlike as he can. It is as if he understands the importance of helping others. Bourdain was clearly in many ways, seeking to be accepted by others. He clearly understood the work of Jesus and wanting to emulate Jesus, but unfortunately, clearly didn’t seem to have a relationship with Jesus.  We see this wear on him. Again, I know all too well the desire to try and serve and help others, I know all too well the feeling of at times not feeling loved and yet, struggle because I, and others like me and Bourdain, clearly serve others out of a measure of love, but sometimes, a love that is self-serving, and one that needs to experience love and as Iggy Pop said, one needs to feel and know that they are loved.

 

Here is where my review shifts:  In our world political climate, and the human condition we all have, there is the need to be loved. Truth is, I hated this movie, not because of the quality, or anything of that nature, but the reminder that even successful people go through life not feeling loved. It is after Bourdain’s third relationship breakup that he ultimately looses it. If someone with the talents, abilities, and success of Bourdain can go through life, and ultimately feel unloved, what does that say about the chances for the rest of us that struggle with this feeling. Does it mean they/we aren’t loved?  Of course not, but for many of us, reality is what we feel. The question is, how does one go out of their way to get through to those around them to let them know they are loved?  I don’t have the answer for this because for my own life, I realize there are times that others go out of their way to show and express love, but for whatever reason, it isn’t felt. Unfortunately, for many, the result is suicide. I must admit, there were times in the past I acted on that. I haven’t been close to that place in my own life in a number of years, but that isn’t to say that it hasn’t crossed my mind. So, once again I ask the question, what can we do to help people like Bourdain, (clearly too late for him) that face these feelings of not feeling loved?

 

This documentary movie will I believe be considered during Oscar season. It is phenomenal in its making and story. It is not a happy movie though. Just as we hear from Bourdain again, we know from the start, it isn’t going to have a happy ending. I don’t even know if I would say Roadrunner is entertaining, I would say however, it is a much-needed movie and one that I would recommend as many people as possible see because if it helps any of us to understand more the need to overtly express our love in word and actions to those around us, then it will likely help save lives. The pain of suicide impacts each person differently, but drastically, be it the suicide of a celebrity like Anthony Bourdain or a loved one we know personally. 

 

I normally give a numeric score on my reviews on a scale of 1 – 10, for some reason, I just don’t think that is appropriate for this movie, I will say this is a must-see documentary film for all kinds of reasons, namely the potential of helping save the life of a loved one. At that point, maybe just maybe, Bourdain’s actions can have a positive impact, otherwise, it’s another senseless death.

To watch the trailer for this movie, click on the following link:

ROADRUNNER: A Film About Anthony Bourdain - Official Trailer [HD] - In Theaters July 16 - YouTube

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