Friday, March 4, 2011


Siren is a movie that on the surface looks promising; there are even those wonderful reviews on the cover of the packaging that says how good it is. Those reviews wouldn’t lie would they? The movie follows a couple and their friend who decides to take a weekend trip on a rented yacht. They meet up with a local who tells them of one of the legends of the sea. They are told of an old legend involving Siren’s, female spirits who manipulate people towards them only to wreck their ships and create havoc. The shipmates leave on their trip and along the way pass by an island where they see a castaway stranded on the island. The castaway swims to the yacht from the island in a frantic fury. Not long after arrival to the yacht he dies. The friends on their weekend get away after deciding to go to the island to bury the stranger see a strange alluring, sexy female. After meeting her, things begin to happen and the temptress has more about her than one would imagine. That is at least the concept as portrayed by the press materials related to the DVD. Unfortunately, the praise, the description, just doesn’t mesh. What actually happens is a hodgepodge of garbage that is quite possibly the worst movie I have ever had to endure.

Siren looks at times like it was filmed on an old VHS camera by inexperienced cinematographers. While there are at times some beautiful shots, the reality that the filmmakers and cinematographers had some beautiful shots, while allowing the horrendous work, including at times cinematography only gives to the distain for this movie. Then there is the acting and what I call tease scenes. At times, Siren gives the impression that it wants to be a sexy, supernatural, paranormal horror story, unfortunately it fails on all levels. It isn’t scary, and while there are some supernatural, paranormal horror concepts to it, it is so bad that I am still facing confusion after watching this movie as to what it is about. It has one of the most confusing, horrendous scripts I have ever seen in a movie. While it wants to be sexy, and sultry, it is neither, it instead borders on torture.

Regarding the characters in this so called movie, there is essentially no development, outside of an apparent sex fantasy and the obvious perversions of the characters throughout the film. It is their perversions which ultimately lead to their demise but any development of character that one would appreciate would have been nice. How one could engage in a sex fantasy in the morning, meet up and take a yacht trip in the afternoon, then have someone swim to their boat, die, and a couple of hours later be partying and swimming, having sexual fantasies for a strange, unknown person the next moment is beyond me. There is a chance this could be like a number of other horrible films and become a cult phenomenon, but if that were to happen, I may have to quit going to movies.

While Siren is horrid in so many ways, there is a reminder that will hopefully hit home for some regarding there are consequences for actions. There is also the concept, that sex in and of itself can be dangerous. That said, I don’t accept the premise as presented in the movie. As a person of faith, who rejects the idea that sex is bad, I would have preferred that appropriate relationships, real love, would have been shown in some way. There is actually very little nudity in this movie so that wasn’t an issue, there are certainly sexual situations, but a lot is left to the imagination. It would have been nice to have characters that care for each other, that would have had an appreciation for themselves and others more than just the self serving pleasure presented. There is an underling message of the dangers of inappropriate sex, and while I am normally very forgiving of the direction and production of movies, I honestly felt everything about this movie was bad. I doubt they would have tried and give an appropriate message. That said; the film can still be used to illustrate the dangerous situations we put ourselves into and the need to make sure we get to know someone before throwing ourselves at them. The application of the passage from Ecclesiastes would also be wise to reflect on. There is a time and place for everything, when we are so self-serving that we care more about pleasing self first and foremost, then danger may be around the corner.

If you haven’t been able to tell by now, I hated this movie. The most horrific thing about it, which isn’t scary in any way, is that I had to endure and watch to the end. There isn’t that much positive to say about it, in fact I can find few things other than a few of the nice island scenes. I honestly can’t imagine others finding anything positive about it. If seeing it though, or knowing someone who has seen it, there is certainly the points I bring up that can lead to beneficial fruitful discussion regarding being self-serving, the appropriateness of sex, and how to take the time respond to each moment of life, whether dancing, laughter, mourning, or whatever in an appropriate way. The things, situations, and people around us, are often more important than the moments we think we will enjoy through self-worshiping attitudes.

I wish I could recommend Siren, but unfortunately, if someone was to give you a copy of this movie with no strings attached, I couldn’t recommend watching it; your time is worth something and I found this an almost total waste of time. I hope you don’t find out the hard way that it would be the same for you.

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